Although I love what I do and cannot imagine myself doing anything other than this – I know that in this crazy world of mine that it’s impossible to survive on fresh air with only a diet of hope and the occasional box of donated teabags.
And even though I may never own a fabulous house in Miami Beach or travel back in time to take tea with Jane Austen or shop at dusk in a hamlet populated by crones and goblins or enjoy a delicious supper with a talkative hedgehog – I can still have wish fulfillment in 12th scale…
Events took a somewhat eventful turn in February and although not entirely unexpected, the last few months have been of upheaval and change as I have moved abode some twenty miles north to York and as this ancient walled city is my hometown, I have been fortunate to have met with much delighted surprise at my return; rather like the arrival of the Prodigal Son over a thousand years ago but without the fatted calf prepared in my honour…
I think the thing which has most troubled me about the death of my father, is that I have been left feeling so troubled by it as I had always imagined I would be indifferent to any news of him but how else to explain my sense of rage as if he has slammed the door in my face for the final time or that profound sadness about the beautiful and charming grandson he barely knew.
Or the black void in which all of my questions about my relationship with him have tumbled into and which are now swirling around like confetti, to be forever unanswered and I have to find my way through the ‘If only’ and What if’ on my own…
Yesterday against my better judgement I found myself wasting several hours of my life that I will never get back again watching the spectacle that was the Royal Wedding!
I really hadn’t intended to but before I knew it, there I was perched in front of the television watching a masterpiece of a public relations exercise in all things H.R.H and I’ve been regretting it ever since.
But it was only a wedding I hear you say!
A statement from the producers of the ‘American Crime Story’ revealed that ‘The People v. O.J. Simpson’ will share the tales of the “the chaotic behind-the-scenes dealings and manoeuvring on both sides of the court, and how a combination of prosecution overconfidence, defense shrewdness, and the Los Angeles Police Department’s history with the city’s African-American community gave the jury what it needed – the suggestion of ‘reasonable doubt.”
Personally speaking, I have never had any doubts, reasonable or otherwise as to the question of Simpson’s guilt!